just in case you don't know, i never like my father.
always trying to shape me to what he wants me to be, control and plan my stuff.
last night, he talked to me. saying that i treat my mother as maid, because she cooks for me and wash my clothes. and also other housework. and i just play games and do nothing constructive. and contribute nothing to the family.
i'm waiting for uni, and so he expects me to be studying right now. and i do revise for your info, just that i won't be doing like what most people doing in school. because they've a proper syllabus but not me. so am i suppose to open my textbook and act as if i'm studying when it's ineffective. and i actually read up online and ask friends. but all he thinks he see is i play games 24/7. he only believes what he wants to believes.
alittle history on how he always think he's right and shape me. in 2001, that is my sec 2 year, i'm supposed to choose what i wanna study for higher sec for o lvl. and i have chose mine, (EL, CL, E.math, A. math, p.chem, p.physic, a/c and comb hum) but he insisted that i must take p.bio and not a/c. and the final line he said is "i've more exp than u in this world, i know what is good for u. jus listen." what can i say? he feeds me. fine, i took bio. and i got a A1 for 1st exam, then i fail on purpose all the way til o lvl. i just don't wanna be forced. i scored in my 1st exam to prove that i'm capable not because i can't. in 2003, after my o lvl, he wanted me to study biz mgt, because he wanted it. his reason is that i've little knowledge of everything. but i've told him which also leads to no where. but yeah again, he's paying my school fee. so suck thumb.
regarding my mother being a maid, my mother always complains to me it's him who makes her become a maid. and she told me doing housework is all she can do for me as a mother, and feel being needed. sometimes why not just appreciate it and not do what you think it should be. so what will my mother do everyday? like him, staring at the com looking at the stocks? he thinks that i can't manage to do it myself, when i'm so often being left alone at home. not being to do my own housework? and now he's saying i can't manage in aust.
he talks about give and take, my mother does the housework and i should. ok, i agree with that. but that line only comes to me because he did some housework. how about when he had not retired? my mother complain so much about her serving him. from now on, i'll not dine at home, if he thinks that she cooks for me make her the maid. and i'll wash my own clothes separately. i think within 2 days, my mother will complain to him that i'm not eating with her. also mention that i leave my clothes on the bed after i took them off, simply because my mother told me don't have to wash them everytime i use them. (those that i wear to sleep.) he just lives in his own world.
also not happy that i wake up past 12pm. ok fine, i just wake up early today and leave home to library to sleep there. i will still watch my champions league match in mid night, that won't change.
not long ago, when i rejected to work for iras, he jus scolded me, without knowing anything at all. "how can a person be like u" i still remember.
2 months ago, when i'm applying for the school. he also wants to take charge of it, but clearly without any sort of info and just what he thinks is right again. he just scolded me for delaying and wanted to charge down to the agency to settle it. have he ever thinks that i need to oath for my citizenship? change my passport? and my particulars may have changed. and after i'm done with it, i told him about preparing a cheque (which i've reminded him long ago, and he said the rate is not good. which i think it's ok to wait.) and suddenly he said i don't care about my future, the money is not my concern, but his. and next thing he said all i know is spending his money. back to the story of charging down to the agency, i told him he needs to prepare a bank draft 1st. i've filled up everything, called the agency to ask. i even call the uni in aust about my new offer (because i change to start in another sem) after i get the bank draft, i settle the rest by myself, smooth~
even the accommodation in aust, the booking of flight. he just wants them his way, i've said before that i will be sharing with someone there and i'm looking for one (looking it out online) and my friends there are helping too. as for air tix, i wait to confirm with 1 friend because she's flying to sg then back to aust with me.
it's just always he, him and himself.
he's not seeing the big picture, i don't need him but his money to pull me through school. i'm not his puppet. one day i'll not need his money anymore, and i'm gonna pay back every cents. that day isn't far.
1 comment:
Well... I am having similiar experience at home with my parents as well.
They think I only know how to waste time when I idle at home. When I go out they think I waste money.
My mum complains she felt being treated like a maid everytime, despite my calls for her to go take rest everytime.
IMO her enormous mountains of housework is self-found, she always seem to be able to conjure things to do out of the blue.
My dad is super conservative, he thinks he's the only one slogging for the family and that no one will ever surpass his "super nephew" whose a self made multi-millionaire (through backstabbing the ones who helped him), not even his own son.
My parents thinks I'm naive, that I'll be cheated of everything, each time I mention something to them. It started from my desire to venture into some insurance as investment, then to my desire to study overseas when I had problems trying to enroll into the local universities.
No doubt my family are not well-off, but I think the last thing a parent should do would be to write off the possibilities that your child has even before the attempt is made.
For me, they are the shackles in life.
There were events in the past that makes it difficult for me to respect my parents, both of them even now. But I never felt that there was no responsibility on my end to take care of them once they turn old. But I cannot accept their poor parenting method.
Yes, even at this age of 21, I already have develop some ideas of parenting. How I got them? Simply the reverse of what they have done.
I feel I grew up in a dysfunctional parenting environment, but I always feel that environment plays a secondary role to self-awareness when it comes to self-development.
I've always wanted to live on my own, to break free from the shackles that my parents plants onto me since young. To be able to do what I want and without reservation.
I assume that's the same for your case, that u wish to break free from your dad's grasp.
Take it easy, just relax for the time being. While u might dislike your dad, the same cannot be said for your mum (I think). I feel your mum would definitely love to spend more time with u in this remaining 2 months before u head to Australia for your studies.
Don't hurt your mum because of your dad (which is not worthy at all).
My exams are coming soon, like tomorrow (since its past midnight). Once its done after 10th , we can hang out to get away from our unhappy woes. I know this sounds gay, but u have some real friends (aside me) who are willing to listen and empathise with your situation. (To empathise is not to pity, it means to understand from your point of view)
Let's go pubbing once I'm done with my screwed up papers (and life)
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